Topics for papers for week of 22 April.

1. How to Pick a Significant Other
2. Buying Green
3. Homework in College
4. Small Town or Big City?
5. How to Manage Your Time to Succeed in College

Turn papers into Bill Zeigler or AHSS office.

Our dog ran away this morning, so Bill Zeigler will be getting you started and take up your papers. If you don't give your papers to Bill, turn them in to be put in my box at the AHSS office.

As always, write with questions. I will see you Tuesday morning.

Steve

Here are the topics for your first in-class essay:

1. The Virginia Commonwealth
2. What Super Power Would You Have and Why
3. Punishment and Children
4. Fund Raising/Fund Raisers

Remember: You take a topic and narrow it down by asking yourself:

"What differences of opinion do reasonable people have about my topic?"

Once you have identified a difference of opinion about which you want to write, you take a stance in the difference. This stance is the claim you will prove in your paper.

Remember: The basic structure of an academic essay is:

• Introduction, where you hook your reader and lead them to your thesis statement. So, your introduction usually begins with a hook and ends with your thesis statement.
• Body, where you prove your thesis to be true or fully inform your reader about your thesis. Here, you are making the points you need to make to get your reader to beleive your thesis. For each of these points, you'll write a paragraph topic sentence and fully support and develop your point in the remainder of your paragraph.
• Conclusion, where you explain to the reader, who by now has some good reasons to believe your thesis, why your thesis matters. In other words, in your conclusion, you answer the question: "So what?"

I'll see you at 9:30 on Tuesday, come in having picked your topic and prepared to pre-write and draft.

The Final Two Weeks of the Course

Next week, you will write the first of your timed, in-class essays. In class on Tuesday, you will draft your essay. On Thursday, you will revise and proofread it. The following week, you'll repeat the procedure. It is very, very, very important that you come to class over the next two weeks. If you miss class, there will be no way to make up an essay you miss.

Remember, you'll write one essay next week and one the week of 23 April. You will then decide which of these two essays you want the outside readers to use in making their decision to recommend you for another semester in 01 or for going on to 111.

Too often, students view the recommendation to remain in 01 as failure. It isn't, and I don't want you to think it is. Everyone begins with a different background. Any one student can only make so much progress in any one semester. I want to assure you all that you've made tremendous progress this semester, but some of you are not at the point of being ready to pass 111 and would profit from another semester of college prep writing. This is the decision I and the readers will make, that is, if you would profit from another semester preparing or if you're ready for the deep end of the 111 pool. If you move too early into 111, you will become frustrated and may have to drop the course, so it's in your best interest to move at the right pace to insure your future success.

Steve

Steve

Your Assignment: Due, Thursday, 10 April

Take four of the essays you've written this semester. Read my post on writing conclusions, and re-write your conclusions based on the advice I provide.

On Writing Conclusions

Try memorizing a longish list, and you will be able to remember the first and last elements almost at once; but, it will take you multiple passes through the list to get the bulk of the material and remember it in the order it was presented. The upshot is conclusions are one of the few elements you can hope a casual reader will remember; so, you use them to make the main points you want your reader to remember.

Even though conclusions are necessary, they are often difficult to write. I write conclusions by answering a few questions and remembering a few tactics often used. Here are the questions:

• "So what?" or, as one of my past math professor's said, "Why should you give a damn?" The main purpose of a conclusion is to answer these questions and demonstrate to your reader why your thesis--the stance you take on your topic--is useful or meaningful. In a usual paper, you've just spent the body developing good reasons for your reader to believe your thesis. In your conclusion, you explain why your thesis matters, how accepting your thesis will enrich the reader's life, or explain why your thesis is important.
• "What new perspective have I offered on my topic?" Readers often read to gain a new perspective or outside viewpoint on a topic; so, one of the things you can do with a conclusion is to pose questions that follow from accepting your thesis and which you don't have time to develop in your paper.
• "What do I need to say to finish the story I began in my introduction?" I am fond of using a story to hook my reader and lead them toward my thesis statement. This tactic gives me a ready framework for a conclusion. My introduction sets up a story that explains why the topic I'm addressing is important. My body develops my take on the topic, and my conclusion then "finishes" the story I began in the introduction. I think of this approach as the "OK. Here's the moral of the story" approach.
• "How will the future be changed if my thesis is true?" If I've just spent the body of my paper proving a problem exists or suggesting a solution, then I build on this shared ground to predict the future outcomes of my thesis being true.
• "What do I want my reader to do?" Good writers write to change the beliefs and behavior of their audience; so, I often write with a desired behavior in mind. I challenge the reader to change their behavior with a move like, "OK. You've got little choice but to believe my thesis, so you now know that these actions are necessary as a result."
• "What can I do to complete the circle?" If you think of your paper as a circle which begins with your hook and moves through your thesis and body, then it makes sense to bring your reader full circle by returning to your introduction. The tactic of finishing the story I mentioned above is a variation on this tactic. If you begin with a description or a scenario, then you can end with the same description or scenario as seen through the lens of your thesis being true.

Here are some dos and don'ts which are useful:

• Don't just restate your main points or your thesis in short papers. Student writers often want to just restate their thesis and the main points of the body. Such summary is a useful tactic for the conclusion of long papers where the reader may have been distracted from your main point by subsequent points you raise, and you have more than one paragraph in which to write your conclusion. Having said this, in a short paper--like the five paragraph academic essay or an in class short essay--readers aren't going to get lost in the four or five paragraphs you've just written. Just summarizing what you've said is a tad insulting. Instead, you can use the tactic of reminding your reader of your main points fit into a larger picture.
• Don't introduce a new argument. The body of your paper is where you introduce reasons to believe your thesis. The conclusion is where you synthesize your main points and show why your thesis is important. Remember, there is a subtle but very important difference between proving your thesis to be true and discussing why it matters.
• Do pick out and echo key terms or ideas or images. One method of bringing your reader full circle without just repeating your thesis and main points is simply using key terms, ideas, or images from your paper in your conclusion.
• Do think about ending with a quotation from the research you have done.
• Do think about suggesting further research which is necessary.
• Do focus on your thesis and its importance.
• Don't focus on minor point brand new reasons to believe your thesis. It's easy to get enamored by one's own words, but conclusions are about the broad picture. If your conclusion focuses on a minor point you bring up rather than on your thesis, your reader may well get lost.
• Don't apologize. Readers read authors, that is, AUTHORities on a topic; so, don't apologize or say, "This is just my opinion, but..." or "Others may believe differently, but..." or "I'm no expert, but..." I used to collect a quarter from students who apologized for what they say. You are the author of your essay. What you have to say is important, or you wouldn't be saying it and asking your reader to read it.

Notes on Revision

Here’s the real secret to good writing: revision. As with most profound ideas, it sounds simple, but it’s not. Good writers revise as they draft, AND they go through multiple revisions after a draft is complete. The first manner of revision is easy to get your head around. Because most of us now write on the computer, we tend to see revision as an ongoing part of writing, and we tend to believe a paper is finished when we draft the last paragraph and read back through it once or twice. This isn’t revision.

It is next to impossible to revise completely as you draft and as you proofread. My brother once told me, “If a girl is worth asking out, she is worth your full and undivided attention.” He was right. The same rule applies to revision. When you revise, you revise. Take the time. Just as with a date, you will be happier with the results. Of course, the problem is, just as with that date, if you don’t take the time to give revision your full attention, you may come to the mistaken belief that what you are experiencing is the best date out there. If for no other reason, revise because you want a higher score.

Tips for Revision:

1. Print out a hard copy of your draft.

2. Spend individual time revising, and print out a new copy.

3. Read the new copy *out loud*, and revise it again.

4. Print out yet a new hard copy, and get a second reader to help you revise it.

Here are the most important, general questions you need to answer at as you revise?

• Is there another idea(s) you might introduce which would make your claim(s) sound more reasonable or clarify your thinking?
• Could your paper be organized in a better way? For a moment, play with the idea of moving your paragraphs or sections into a new order.
• Do you provide sufficient evidence to support each of your claims, both the major claim you make in your thesis statement AND the other claims you make in each paragraph? Look at each claim and sub-claim, ask yourself, “What additional evidence could I provide?” “Do I provide enough evidence?” The secret number is three. If I provide three reasons or three pieces of evidence to support an idea, then I know—in general—I’ve provided enough.
• Do you define the terms you use and illustrate them with examples, stories, etc.?
• Do I stay on topic? Do I introduce ideas I need to cut, or do I introduce ideas to which I need to devote their own paragraph?
• Could I add a phrase or sentence which would clarify what I want to say?

Here are questions to ask of each section of your paper?

Introduction:

• Does the introduction hook the reader and draw them into the paper?
• Does the introduction lead in a logical straightforward way to my thesis statement?
• If I introduce unfamiliar terms, do I define them in the introduction?
• Does the introduction provide context for my take on the topic and my thesis?

Thesis:

• Is my thesis narrow enough? Can I fully develop this thesis in the time I have to write?
• Is my thesis too broad? Have I written a thesis which is so broad that everything I have to say about it seems vague and too general?
• Does my thesis say what I want to say about my topic?
• Does my thesis make a point worth considering? Will my reader care about my point? Do I care about the point I am making?
• Does my thesis provide the reader with a sense of the structure of the paper?
• Does my paper fulfill the promises I make in the thesis?

Structure:

• Is my structure logical?
• Are there gaps in the reasons I give my reader to believe my thesis?
• Do I require my reader to make logical leaps for which I haven’t prepared her?
• Is each of my sub-claims, points, and pieces adequately developed?
• Is each point equally developed?
• Is each point interesting?
• Is each point relevant to the case I am making?

Body Paragraphs:

• Does each paragraph have a topic sentence which controls the paragraph?
• Does each paragraph establish a single focus and stay on focus?
• Do I provide adequate transitions from paragraph to paragraph?
• Is each paragraph clearly related to my thesis?

Conclusion:

• Does your conclusion sum up my main point?
• Does my conclusion introduce a completely new idea?
• Does my conclusion leave the reader with something to think about?

Why Commas Matter

One of the last two rules for comma usage...

ESSENTIAL AND NON-ESSENTIAL EXPRESSIONS

An essential expression/element affects the basic meaning of the sentence whereas a non-essential one does not. AVOID surrounding essential elements with commas. Placing commas on either side of a non-essential expression indicates that the information within the commas may be informative but not crucial.

Note: Reserve the pronoun "that" to introduce essential elements and the pronoun "which" to introduce non-essential ones. The pronoun who can introduce both types.

Examples:

Collin Creek Mall, which was built in 1980, has enjoyed nearly two decades of prosperous growth.
The suburban mall that has enjoyed the most prosperous growth in Texas is Collin Creek.
Jane Smith, who is usually never at a loss for words, struggled to remember her lines during her acting debut.
The actress who is usually never at a loss for words is Jane Smith.

Topics for 1 April, in class essay.

Here are some topics from which to pick for your in class essay:

• Abuse at home and domestic violence.
• Media violence.
• Single parent families.
• The effect of divorce parents on children.
• Curfews for Children.
• School Uniforms.
• Required, non-credit college courses.
  

The Format for Most College Writing

Here's a general, fall back format for most writing in college:

Begin the paper with the following information, single spaced, in the top left hand side of your paper: 1) your name, 2) the course number (in this case, ENG 01) followed by a comma and your professor's name (in this case: Steve Brandon); finally, 3) the date.

Double space, and center the title of your paper.

Triple space, indent five spaces, and begin your introduction.

There after, everything in your paper is double spaced.

Page set up: 1 inch margins, top, bottom, right and left. 12 point, Times New Roman font. Body paragraphs should all be indented five spaces, and be left justified.

Your paper should look something like:

Your Name
ENG 01, Steve Brandon
1 April 2008

Title

1 & 3 April, What is Planned.

This week, you'll have a chance to practice what you have learned this semester and begin preparing for the two timed, in class essays you will write at the end of the semester. If you remember, the format for these timed essays will be as follows:

Tuesday: You draft your essay.
Thursday: You revise, proofread, and turn in your essay.

The last two weeks of class, you'll write one essay per week, and I'll let you pick the one you want to go to outside readers. My self and these outside readers will make a recommendation to either: 1) remain in English 01, Preparing for College English, to gain a better foundation; or, 2) you are prepared for English 111 and the rigors of a first year writing class. I will base your grade for the course on these final essays and the recommendation of the readers.

Do not take a recommendation to take 01 as a failure of the class. It is not. Students come to college at various levels of writing preparedness. Unlike high school, college is not about passing a test or getting a credential. College is about laying a foundation for your success in later life and preparing you to do demanding, professional work. If I make a recommendation that you repeat the course, it is because I believe you need an extra semester of work to let what you've learned this semester to "grow in" and become part of how you write, and because I *want* you to not just do well in 111 but be prepared to make the most of the experience.

If this helps any, it has been my experience that as many at as a quarter to a half of any one 01 class need two semesters of prep work before 111, that is, if they are to more than just get by in 111.

For Tuesday, Writing

The class decided to write an in class essay on the following topic:

When do you know it's time to break up, and how is the best way to do it?

For those not in class, take an hour and a half chuck of time and develop a draft of an essay on the topic above. Then polish it through revision and proofreading. You will turn this in on Tuesday at the beginning of class, so have a hard copy ready.

Remember, chapter 15 will help you review, and trust the process for creation I give you in a post below.

Steve

Assignment for Tuesday, 1 April

Writing: Revise and proofread the draft of the in class essay you wrote on Thursday, 27 March. You will turn in a fully polished version on 1 April.

Reading: Read pp. 36180 of Expressways. This section reviews and expands on the essay writing skills we've been discussing all semester. Pay particular attention to the discussion of an introduction and conclusion, which you will find 376-8.

What will happen next week:

This week is all about bringing together everything you've learned this semester and practicing applying it in a timed, in-class essay. In class, 1 April, you will draft another essay. On 3 April, you will revise and proofread it.

How to draft a good essay in one and a half hours.

How you do prewrite, develop, and draft a good, solid essay draft which will get you into 111 in just an hour and a half?

Look at my post below. If you follow the time frame I set up, you’ll end up with a fully developed draft. Remember, producing a draft is what you are about. You’ll have another class period to revise and proofread your draft. The main mistake students make in writing these in class essays is trying to rush through. Don't try to rush the steps you need to take prior to drafting your paper. Taking the time to narrow your topic, develop a thesis, and write out the topic sentences for your body paragraphs will make each later step that much easier, and you'll have a very firm idea of your essay's thesis and body before you get involved in drafting.

1. Brainstorm/Freewrite/Diagram/List. (5-10 minutes)

Here, explore what you have to say about your topic and try to figure out how to narrow it, decide on a focus, and explore what you know about it.

2. Develop and draft your thesis statement. (5-10 minutes)

Build on your discoveries above to develop a good, solid these statement. By doing so, you’re setting up both your focus for your paper, that is, your major claim, and how you will discuss your topic, that is, the good reasons you'll give your reader for believing your claim. Making these decisions early will help you better understand the topics you'll need to focus on in the body of your essay.

3. Draft the topic sentences for each body paragraph. (5 minutes)

Remember, you are using each paragraph to fully develop one aspect of your thesis statement; so, don’t get off topic and loose your focus on your thesis.

4. Develop and draft the body of your paper. (45 minutes)

Divide this time by the number of topics you need to cover in your body. You will know how long you have to spend on each paragraph by looking at your thesis and the topic sentences you developed above. For each paragraph, you will take your topic sentence and fully develop it in a paragraph. Remember, the purpose of each of these paragraphs is to fully clarify, explain, develop, or describe what you say in your topic sentence. Be careful that you don’t loose focus on your thesis statement and that you stay on topic. Finally, remember that academic paragraphs are longish, usually, more than six sentences.

5. Draft your introduction. (15 minutes)

Remember, you’ll need a good hook sentence and a strategy for moving your reader from the outside world, through your hook sentence and toward your thesis sentence. Your thesis statement will usually make up the last sentence or two of your introduction.

6. Draft your conclusion. (10 Minutes)

I’ll discuss how to write a conclusion more next week.

Assignment for Tuesday, 25 March

1. Write a well developed, five paragraph essay in which you answer the following question:

"Who would you like to vote for for president, and why?

Remember, these should include not only your opinion, but why you hold your opinions. Develop these reasons in the three body paragraphs of the essay.

Try to write all five paragraphs in an hour and a half, and then spend an hour revising and proofreading. When you proofread, try out one of the techniques you haven't used as yet.

Steve

PS You should shoot for paragraphs five sentences long or longer. At a minimum, a paragraph needs to be three sentences long.
PPS Remember to vary your sentence structure and to identify the independent clause in each sentence. Finally, use the rules discussed in a previous post to make sure you use commas properly. If you can identify the independent clauses in your writing, you can place your commas correctly. No more guessing.

An exercise using commas and periods...

Good morning,

I was just working with Max, and worked out an exercise to help him learn sentence boundaries and where to place commas. Below find an email I sent to a student. I've removed all the periods and the commas. If you want some extra work on sentence boundaries commas, try to replace all the commas and periods in the following set of prose. Next week, I'll post same piece of the writing with the punctuation put back in, and you can compare your work with mine. Remember, this work is voluntary.

Here's the text:

There's a balance you and the rest of the class are trying to find between worrying so much the anxiety paralyzes and as you say not caring enough I suspect you care more than you would like to let on; otherwise you wouldn't want to go into politics

Good politicians are good people and usually they are better people than those who don't go into public service Look at Obama Here's a man who seems to genuinely care and wants to make a difference He's been as near as I can tell a good politician and he still gets attached not because of his beliefs but because the retired minister of his church said things which make some Americans nervous and the things Wight said makes great copy when taken out of context People who don't care would find another career one where their every action isn't over analyzed and where folks wouldn't deride them their believes and each decision in public I think it was Eisenhower who said "Tomorrow I could walk on water across to Potomac and the headlines would read 'President Can't Swim'" Don't take me for a Pollyanna I understand that some of the motivation for going into politics might be a desire for power Some has to do with a desire for status respect and public praise For some it might be graft but I would like to believe than folks like you also go into politics because they want to make a difference and because they understand how to bring people together to work toward the common good These last are the kind of leaders I always hope and try to vote for

From folks I know who have worked on presidential and state level campaigns I know most politicians are smarter than the run of the mill citizen Sam Erwin used to have this bit where he's go on about being "A country lawyer from North Carolina" but he used this guise to run the hearings which resulted in deposing a standing president Many politicians don't ever let on how smart they are because they know it would alienate the average Joe and Jane Yet these are the same folks who weekly and monthly manage to meet and gain identification with more people than most of us meet in a lifetime One doesn't develop such skills from an attitude of not caring enough to learn how to learn Think here of all a public leader has to know She has to know people She has to stay up on the issues She has to have the ability to quickly learn the *details* of every issue of concern to a majority of her constituents and to run a staff which will help her She has to have the ability to run a campaign and to make strategic decisions which balance the public good and her ability to retain power and continue to do good Finally she has to run with the big dogs that is those equally polished communicators and equally smart People with such skills don't just happen They cultivate and acquire these skills though a lifetime of practice and they don't believe everything will just "work out" They've got too many people who are willing to actively work to make sure things don't work out to believe they will

The upshot here is if you really want to be a politician there's substantial motivation to learn to how to plan and to learn and practice every skill you can now that is when the stakes aren't as high as they will become Develop these habits of mind now and you stand a chance of realizing your dream later This doesn't mean saddling yourself with anxiety; it means you have to develop the discipline to control how you think Continually motivate yourself As you say the world may work out for most of the time; otherwise It does for most of us; otherwise we wouldn't be in college but eventually you're going to run up against situations and opposition where the "take it as it comes" sans planning will bite you in the--umm-hand

Now the question becomes what habits do you need to cultivate to develop the abilities you'll need later Give it some thought and repost This time don't sell yourself short Your plans are noble and I suspect you're a better person than you let on

So begin thinking longer term Set aside some time to think through to consequences because just because you haven't experienced negative consequences there are consequences to *everything* one does both good and bad

Presentations on Comma Usage

Here's a link to a colleague's web site at another community college:

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/commas.htm

At this site you'll find links to a few good Powerpoint presentations on comma usage. If you want to review the difference between independent and dependent clauses, there is also a presentation on "Clauses: Building Blocks for Sentences."

Steve

A New Rule for Commas

1. Just as you use a comma to separate a dependent clause that appears at the beginning of a sentence from an independent clause which follows, you often use commas to separate introductory phrases (those over four words) from a following independent clause. For example, look at these sentences I borrowed from the OWL website:

Having finished the test, he left the room.
To get a seat, you'd better come early.
After the test but before lunch, I went jogging.
The sun radiating intense heat, we sought shelter in the cafe.

In a like manner, places a comma after some common introductory words, like yes, however, well. For example, see the following sentences, again borrowed from the OWL website:

Well, perhaps he meant no harm.
Yes, the package should arrive tomorrow morning.
However, you may not be satisfied with the results.

Here is a link to website where I found the examples above:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_comma.html

Using Word Maps to Learn Vocabulary

The most used words in Academic Writing

analyze approach area assess assume authority available benefit concept consist	constitute context contract create data define derive distribute economy environment	establish estimate evident export factor finance formula function identify income
indicate individual interpret involve issue labor legal legislate major method	occur percent period policy principle proceed process require research respond	role section sector significant similar source specific structure theory vary

Here's a list of links to online dictionaries:

Dictionaries

• Acronym Finder
• American Heritage Dictionary
• British National Corpus
• Encarta World English Dictionary
• Idiom Connection
• Lexicool
• Oxford English Dictionary
• Roget’s Thesaurus
• Rhyming Dictionary
• Synonym Dictionary

• Thesaurus.com

Expressways suggests you use a mindmap to learn new words. You can use online tools to make mind maps. Here is a link to two of my favorite online mind mapping tools:

• Bubbl.us
  
• Wise Mapping
  

Here is Expressways advice on how to use a mind map to learn a new word:

You can find a copy of the mindmap being discussed here:

• Word Map

Using Word Mapping

Word mapping is a visual method of expanding your vocabulary. It involves examining a word in detail by considering its meanings, synonyms (words similar in meaning), antonyms (words opposite in meaning), part(s) of speech, word parts, and usages. A word map is a form of word study. By the time you have completed the map, you will find that you have learned the word and are ready to use it in your speech and writing.

On the following page is a sample map for the word “intercepted.”

Use the following steps in completing a word map:

1. When you find a word you don’t know, locate the entry for the word in a dictionary.

Write the sentence in which the word appeared at the top of the map.

Figure out which meaning fits the context and write it in the box labeled “Meaning (as used in reading).” Fill in the word’s part of speech as used in this context.

2. Study the dictionary entry to discover other meanings of the word.

Fill those in on the map in the box labeled “Other Meanings.”

3. Find or think of two synonyms (words similar in meaning).

You might need to use a thesaurus for this.

4. Write two sentences using the word.

5. Analyze the word’s parts. Identify any prefixes, roots, and suffixes.
Write the word part and its meaning in the box labeled “Word Parts.”

6. In the box labeled “Other,” include any other interesting information about the word.
You might include antonyms, restrictive meanings, or the word’s history or derivation).

How to Learn New Vocabulary

Pages 42-6 offer some advice on how to learn new vocabulary. Since one of your assignments is to learn all the words on the Academic Word List, between now and 18 March, I want you to try out these techniques on learning new vocabulary.

Here's some advice:

1. Break the task down. Don't try to learn all the words at once. Try to learn a few a day.
2. Look for opportunities to use the words you are learning. Use them in sentences. Look for them in the reading you are doing. Nothing helps you learn new vocabulary faster than using it.
3. Make connections. The worst way to learn vocabulary is to memorize. After all, I'm betting you don't remember many of the words you learned in such vocabulary exercises in earlier schooling. Instead of memorization, make connections between the new vocabulary and that which you already know. Look up synonymys using a thesaurus. Use the new vocabulary in sentences.

Here's the textbook's advice from pages 42-6:

Building Your Vocabulary Through Reading

Your vocabulary is an important asset, both in college and in the workplace. Words are the vehicles or building blocks with which you express ideas both in speech and in writing. A strong vocabulary identifies you as a learned, educated person as well as an effective communicator.

Figuring Out Unfamiliar Words

One of the best ways to improve your vocabulary is to read! Reading essays, by both professional and student authors, is an excellent way to build your vocabulary. As you read them, you will encounter words that you can use to expand your vocabulary. Use the “Strengthening Your Vocabulary” exercise that follows each reading to learn new words in the reading. You may also encounter other words in the reading that are unfamiliar to you or you may come upon uncommon uses for words you already know. As you find words that you want to make part of your writing vocabulary, circle or highlight them as you read, mark them with a sticky tab labeled “Vocabulary,” and use the tips on page 43 to learn their meanings. Notice that the first step is not what you expect, which would be to look words up in a dictionary.

In addition to adding words to your vocabulary, you can also learn creative and interesting ways to use language. As you read, look for the following:

1. Euphemisms These are words that hide or disguise the importance, reality, or seriousness of something. (Ladies’ room is a euphemism for toilet; “victim of friendly fire” is a euphemism for a soldier shot by his or her own troops.)

2. Connotative meanings Words have shades of meaning called connotations. These are the emotional associations that accompany words for some readers. The word “mother” has many connotative meanings. For some it means a warm, loving, caregiver. For others it may suggest a strict disciplinarian.

3. Jargon Jargon is specialized terminology used in a particular field of study. Football has its own jargon: linebackers, kick off, touchdown, etc. Academic disciplines also have their own language (psychology: drive, motivation, stressor).

4. Foreign words and phrases Many Latin, French, and Spanish words have entered our language and are used as if they are part of our language. Here are a few examples:

Aficionado (Spanish) someone enthusiastic and knowledgeable about something

Et cetera (Latin)—and so forth

Faux pas (French)—embarrassing social blunder

Guerilla (Spanish)—freedom fighter

Status quo (Latin)—the way things are, an existing state of affairs

Tête-à-tête (French)—a private conversation between two people

• Figurative language Figurative language consists of words and phrases that make sense creatively or imaginatively but not literally. The expression “The exam was a piece of cake” means, creatively, that the exam was easy, as eating cake is easy. But the exam did not literally resemble a cake. You will learn more about figurative language in Chapter 4, p. 102.

• Neologisms Neologisms are new words that have recently entered our language. As technology and society change, new words are created. Here are a few examples: blogs (Web logs or diaries), spamming (sending unwanted e-mail to someone), and egosurfing (searching online for information about yourself.)

Exercise 2-11

Reading and Writing in Progress

Directions: For the professional reading you chose in Exercise 2-4, list any words for which you did not know the meaning. For each word listed, write the meaning and indicate what method you used to figure it out (context, words parts, or dictionary).

Word Meaning Method

1. _______________ _______________ _______________

2. _______________ _______________ _______________

3. _______________ _______________ _______________

Using Word Mapping

Word mapping is a visual method of expanding your vocabulary. It involves examining a word in detail by considering its meanings, synonyms (words similar in meaning), antonyms (words opposite in meaning), part(s) of speech, word parts, and usages. A word map is a form of word study. By the time you have completed the map, you will find that you have learned the word and are ready to use it in your speech and writing.

On the following page is a sample map for the word “intercepted.”

Use the following steps in completing a word map:

1. When you find a word you don’t know, locate the entry for the word in a dictionary. Write the sentence in which the word appeared at the top of the map. Figure out which meaning fits the context and write it in the box labeled “Meaning (as used in reading).” Fill in the word’s part of speech as used in this context.

2. Study the dictionary entry to discover other meanings of the word. Fill those in on the map in the box labeled “Other Meanings.”

3. Find or think of two synonyms (words similar in meaning). You might need to use a thesaurus for this.

4. Write two sentences using the word.

5. Analyze the word’s parts. Identify any prefixes, roots, and suffixes. Write the word part and its meaning in the box labeled “Word Parts.”
6. In the box labeled “Other,” include any other interesting information about the word. You might include antonyms, restrictive meanings, or the word’s history or derivation).

Writing Assignment for 4-18 March: Draft a Cover Letter

On 18 March, bring in a hard copy of a draft of your cover letter. We'll use these in class to practice how to revise and proofread.

Discussion and reading for 4-18 March:

So far, we've been completely focused on academic writing, but the main reason most of us learn to write for college is that college writing helps you when you write in your career and life.

For instance, when you apply to a professional job, internship, or salaried position, you write something called a cover letter. Cover letters are one to two pages long, and you write them to get your reader to offer you an interview. To get a busy person who had a pile of other letters in front of her to pick you to interview, you have to think about what this person needs to hear:

1) What experience do you have which qualifies you for the job?
2) Why are you applying for the job?
3) What can you do for the company that other candidates may not be able to do.

Too often, folks make the mistake of writing a generic cover letter that they send to everyone, but the easiest way to make your letter stand out is to do some research about the company to which you are applying and explain how you fit their needs.

Virginia Tech as a web page with some good general advice on writing cover letters:

http://www.career.vt.edu/JOBSEARC/coversamples.htm

Read Tech's advice and read this advice:

http://www.ccs.neu.edu/co-op/Manual/Coverletters.html

Finally, whenever you begin writing in a new genre, you should spend some time online researching advice on how to write in your genre. Go to google, enter the search "How to write cover letter." Read several of the sites and pull out the best advice you find. Use this advice as your revise your letter.

Learn These Words: The Academic Word List

When you read college writing, a basic set of words appear again and again. College researchers will study anything, and several years ago a professor in New Zealand, Averil Coxhead, used statistics to figure out a list of words which appear most frequently in academic writing but which are not on the list of the most frequently used words in English. . I am assigning you the job of learning this vocabulary. Why? Because it will help you in several key ways. Studies subsequent to Coxhead's have shown that students who learn this set of words understand academic writing, like that found in college texts, around ten percent better than students who have never studied the vocabulary. Ten percent better understanding may not sound like much, but think of it this way: if you understand the reading and discussion ten percent better in every class, that's a full letter grade difference; so, if you're used to getting a "C," just by learning this vocabulary, studies show you'll be getting a "B" instead. In terms of long term GPA, this means the difference between a 2.0 and a 3.0 GPA. Second, if you want your writing to be recognized as "academic," then you have to use the words good academic writers use.

So, here's the list of the sixty most frequent words in academic writing:

analyze
approach
area
assess
assume
authority
available
benefit
concept
consist

constitute
context
contract
create
data
define
derive
distribute
economy
environment

establish
estimate
evident
export
factor
finance
formula
function
identify
income
indicate

individual
interpret
involve
issue
labor
legal
legislate
major
method
occur

percent
period
policy
principle
proceed
process
require
research
respond
role

section
sector
significant
similar
source
specific
structure
theory
vary

analyze	constitute	establish	indicate	occur	role
approach	context	estimate	individual	percent	section
area	contract	evident	interpret	period	sector
assess	create	export	involve	policy	significant
assume	data	factor	issue	principle	similar
authority	define	finance	labour	proceed	source
available	derive	formula	legal	process	specific
benefit	distribute	function	legislate	require	structure
concept	economy	identify	major	research	theory
consist	environment	income	method	respond	vary

Words to help you signal transitions between words.

On page 95 of our text, Expressways, the authors offer a set of frequently used transition words. Unlike the Academic Word List (AWL) below, we use words to help use move from one idea, sentence, or paragraph to another.

If you want to arrange your ideas using time, here are some words you can use:

first, next, during, eventually, finally, later, meanwhile, soon, when, then, suddenly, currently, after, afterward, before, now, until, before

If you want to use where things physically appear, here are some useful words:

above, below, behind, in front of, beside, next to, inside, outside, to the west (north, etc.) of, beneath, nearby, on the other side of

If you want to show a movement from least to most, here are some words you can use:

most, above all, especially, even more, most important, most importantly, essential

If you want to arrange your ideas using numbers, here are some important words:

first, second, third...and, finally OR one, two, three, last

If you want to show cause and effect, here are some useful words:

because, due to, one cause is, another cause is, since, for , first, second OR consequently, for this reason, as a result, thus, resulted in, one result is, another is, therefore, hence, thus

To show similarities: likewise, similarly, in the same way, too, also
To show differences: however, on the contrary, unlike, on the other hand

To indicate the use of an example: for example, for instance, to illustrate, in one case

No class/office hours Thursday, 28 Feb.

Guys, I am sorry. I the medical condition about which we spoke has flared up again, so we won't meet as a class today. I will set up some extra time for office hours next week to help make up.

Here's your assignment. It is due Tuesday, 4 March.

At this point, you've drafted four paragraphs dealing with where you want to be in five years. Each of these paragraphs describes one aspect of your life: academic, personal, professional, and civic. You've read about adding sufficient details, so your readers will get a full, clear mental picture of what you want to say, and as you've revised each paragraph, you've added these details into your paragraphs. You've also revised your paragraphs to weed out vague wording and replace these with specific, vivid language.

Here's the next step. Go back and review your notes on how to write a good introduction and thesis statement. Taking the four paragraphs you've drafted as the body of a paper, draft an introduction for an essay which describes what you want your life to look like in five years. Make sure your introduction has a good, solid hook and a good, solid thesis statement.

Then, draft a conclusion for your paper. We'll be talking about how to write conclusions later, but for right now, apply whatever you might already know.

Finally, read the post below on proofreading. In this post I outline various tactics you can use to notice and correct grammar and misspelled words. Pick out two of these techniques to try out, and use these techniques to proofread and polish the essay you've drafted above.

Below, I've listed a checklist you can use to check the things in your writing we've been over this semester in class. Use this checklist to check the draft of your final essay:

Does my introduction have a good hook?
Does my introduction have an effective thesis statement?
Does each of my body paragraphs begin with a strong topic sentence?
Do I use enough detail in the supporting sentences of each paragraph to fully and clearly support and develop my topic sentences?
Could I introduce more detail?
Would the paragraph benefit from an additional fact, description, illustration, example, or story?
Is my language as clear, specific, and vivid as possible?
Are most of my sentences right branching?
Did I compose my sentences in independent and dependent clause groups?
Do my sentences follow the standard patterns I understand? That is, "IC." "DC, IC." "IC, DC." "IC, conjunction IC." "IC, conjunction IC; conjunction, IC." Or "IC; conjunction, IC, conjunction IC."
When I wrote a sentence with more than one independent clause, did I use commas and conjunctions properly to combine my clauses? (See the patterns above.)
Did I spell check?
Did I use a grammar checker?
Have I proofread my essay at least twice using two different techniques?

I look forward to seeing your final, polished essays on Tuesday. In between now and then, please write me at prof.brandon@gmail.com, if you have any questions.

PS One last note, remember, one of the things you're learning to do is to take enough time to write well. Don't--I repeat--don't try to do every step I outlined above all at once. Draft your introduction and conclusion one day. Read the post on proofreading on another. Try out one proofreading technique on one day the other you're trying out on another. Take the time needed to do each step as fully and as well as possible. There aren't any short cuts to learning to write well. At least there aren't if you want to write well enough to get through those timed, in-class essays at the end of the term, so give yourself the gift of taking what time to need to take to learn and practice now.

Proofreading

We've discussed the need to compose sentences in independent and dependent clause groupings. This tactic of composition allows you to create sentences with fewer errors, but what do you do to make sure your sentences are letter perfect after they've been drafted? You proofread them. Proofreading is the step in writing where you look at grammar and spelling. We've discussed how to incorporate proofreading into your sentence level writing process, but you proofread not only as you create sentences. You also proofread after you've written a paragraph and after you've written a complete work, like an essay.

If you learn nothing else from me this semester, learn to give yourself permission to proofread and revise. Taking the time to proofread as you create sentences, paragraphs, and essays means you create at least three opportunities in everything you write to polish your work.

In the post below, I outline various techniques you can use to proofread. Most of the techniques apply best to proofreading work you've finished drafting and revising. Read the post. I don't want you to use every technique. I do want you to begin try our the one or two techniques which sound most likely to work for you. Different techniques work best in different situations. For instance, in the in class essays you'll write at the end of the semester, you won't be able to have someone else help you proofread. You will have spelling and grammar checkers on the word processors you'll use, and you can get the computer to read back to you what you've written.

Your goal is to find three or four techniques which work best for you, but this means you'll need to try out as many of these techniques as possible. So, over the semester, try out the various techniques. Not all work well for every writer, but I'm confident there's a few here which will help you catch the surface level issues you are now missing.

To practice these skills, I will set up workshops where you'll be proofreading some of the final, revised drafts of your peers. Remember, proofreading differs from revision. When you proofread, you're looking at the surface level and polishing grammar, spelling and usage. When you revise, you're concerned with clarifying what you say, perfecting the organization, adding to your text, and cutting. In short, in revision, you want to deal with meaning and deep level issues. You proofread *after* you revise; otherwise, the effort you put into proofreading may well be wasted. One last note: one difference between editing and proofreading is that one edits another's text while one proofreads one's own.

Here are my own notes on proofreading. Those just below are the main ones to remember:

It's nearly impossible to effectively proofread your own work. You know what you mean to say. When you read your own work, you often read over mistakes. My best piece of advice is, if you can, get others to proofread your work. If it is critical that you work be letter perfect, try to get at least three people to look at your work prior to turning it in. If necessary, hire someone or create a writer's group to help you with proofreading.

EVERYONE makes mistakes. Don't kick yourself for your mistakes, learn to recognize them and how to fix them. Even then, you'll still make mistakes.

I once worked for an academic journal. Four sets of eyes proofed each article--the professor who wrote it, myself, the departmental secretary, and the editor. Still, EVERY time we got the journal back from the printers, I opened it to a random page and found at least one mistake. EVERYONE, even professionals, make mistakes.

When you proofread, you're trying to do something called breaking set. This means you want to change the way you usually read, so you don't read over mistakes. Most of the proofreading tricks I list below have to do with changing how you read, so you can see what you've written.

1. Give yourself time to proofread. It's easy to find yourself adding the last sentence to a text at the last possible minute. As we finish drafting, the last thing we want to do is acknowledge there's yet more work to do. We want to be done. Resist the temptation. Give yourself time to proofread. Your final product will be better for the time. To give yourself time, set your deadline for finishing your draft in time to revise the draft for content and structure and to still have time to proofread.

2) Read backwards from the last sentence to the first. When proofreading for spelling, read backwards one word at a time. Learn to isolate each word, even those which have been passed by the spellcheck. It doesn't catch every misspelling. When proofreading for sentence issues, read backwards one sentence at a time.

3) Read slowly and out loud. You'll be surprised how reading something out loud, as opposed to silently, will let you hear errors you'd otherwise overlook.

4) Read to someone else. Reading your paper to someone else forces you to take an audience into account. Not only can the person you're reading to ask questions about content, they can mark places in a copy of your paper where they're confused or they hear an error as you read. When you hear a mistake or a piece of awkward phrasing, you can mark it and come back later to fix it.

5) Print out your text. If you usually read your papers on the screen, make a hard copy. As you find errors, mark them, and later revise your electronic copy. When we're drafting and hit the creative zone, we often work quickly and have a hard mental focus on meaning. These habits of reading quickly and thinking in terms of meaning and adding or cutting content can track over into efforts to proofread on the screen. Remember, when you're proofreading, you're not so much worried about content or organization (hopefully, each of these elements was polished earlier in the writing process), when proofreading you're looking at mechanics, usage, spelling, and grammar and only at mechanics, usage, spelling, and grammar.

6) Get someone else to read your work to you. Print out two hard copies. Get a friend to read your work to you. Both of you mark places which don't make sense or appear to be problematic. Use both copies as an index when fixing your text. Go back and look at each place which was marked and try to figure out what caused the area to get marked.

7) Have the computer read the text two you. Make a hard copy and set up the computer to read the text out loud. It will read what's there. Every time you hear an error, mark your hard copy. Use your marked copy as an index to what needs to be fixed. You can find many free text to speech readers by just googling.

8) Give yourself time. Breaking set isn't just about reading backwards or reading out loud. You get close to a text when you draft it and work on content and structural revision. If you try to proofread after working this closely with the text, you'll find yourself seeing what you meant to say rather than what you're actually saying. Horace, a Roman rhetorician, recommended putting what you write away for nine years, that is, until it reads as if someone else wrote it. We don't have such luxury, but giving yourself a day or two to let the text set, even just doing something else between finishing your content revisions and proofreading, gives distance enough so you're can bring fresh eyes back to your text. So, finish your draft and reward yourself with a night's sleep, a night out, or a workout prior to proofreading.

9) Give yourself time to proofread. Slow down. You're not in a race to get through, you're trying to look closely at multiple things, and the process takes time. Slow down. Read slowly. Take the time it takes to truly see and truly edit every sentence and word.

10) Physically touch every word. Talk about breaking set! Read backwards. Read out loud, and touch every word to make sure you're seeing and proofreading each and every word and sentence.

11) Use the grammar and spell checker. The state of the art in grammar and spell checkers isn't quite there yet, but they can help you see some errors. Just don't their word as law. Use them for the things at which they're effective. They can isolate "to be" verb constructions and give you an index to possible passive voice constructions. They can show you long sentences. They can usually recognize subject verb disagreements. They can sometimes help with punctuation. The real trick with using grammar and spell checkers is to learn their weaknesses and to learn how to customize them to the style of writing you want to reproduce.

12) Boo-boo or demon words. You know these words. They're the ones which sneak through the spell checker. Usually they're jargon or proper names you misspell or forget to capitalize. You can customize autocorrect to make corrections for your most typical boo-boo words. Other demon words are like: it's/its or their/there/they're. To catch these, you have to learn which one's you are prone to misusing and learn the rules governing their use. There is now shortcut. Once you know your demon words, you *have* to include a step in proofreading where you look for them.

13) Use a ruler or a piece of paper to isolate the sentences you're proofreading. This practice forces you to look at the sentence you're proofing, not the next sentence, not the previous sentence, the sentence you're supposed to be looking at.

14) Learn your problem areas. Everyone is prone to making different mistakes. If you or someone else sees a pattern in your mistakes, put it on a personal "list of things I have to look at when proofreading." (This is why it's a good idea to read the papers you get back from teachers and proofreaders. Often your professor will mark errors. Use their work to help develop your list of "things at which I have to look.") By learning to recognize the problems you're prone to introducing into the text and how these errors can be fixed, you'll soon find yourself making fewer errors. Every once in a while, take your copy of "things at which I have to look" and find your worse error. Spend some time researching how to recognize and fix your worse error. Eventually, you'll find your list of common errors getting shorter and your sentence level writing improving in proportion.

Just a Reminder: No Class, Thursday, 21 Feb.

Please read the blog for your reading and writing assignment. If you haven't turned yours into me already, please do print out a copy of your ten introductions, and hand it in next Tuesday.

Finally, even though we won't be having class, I plan to be in my office tomorrow from 8:00-1:00. If you have questions or want to work on a particular skill, stop by.

Steve

No Class, Thursday, 21 February.

I will be in my office from 8:00-1:00 on Thursday, so if you have any questions, please do stop by. We will not, however, have class on Thursday; instead, I want you working on the draft of the body of your essay on where you see your life in five years.

In developing the sections of your essay which focus on your civic, personal, professional, and academic life, use the techniques of brainstorming, free-writing, and discussion we covered in class today. I want each of your sections to be detailed, specific, and interesting. In reading them, I want to be able to *fully* understand your vision of yourself in five years. More important, I want you to have a good, clear, concise vision of where you want to be in five years. Later, you'll work on a plan for getting there.

Remember, when you take the notes you develop in brainstorming, free-writing, and discussion and move them into sentences and paragraphs, follow the processes we've covered in class and construct your sentences out of dependent and independent clause groups. Make sure your paragraphs have a good clear topic sentence, and--since I'm stressing the important of specific details--make sure your topic sentences is developed through an abundance of detail which fully describes each aspect of your life.

Next Tuesday, you *have* to bring copies of these drafts with you to class, because the work I'm planning to do is built around improving your draft.

As always, write or call with questions. You can find me at prof.brandon@gmail.com.

Steve

The Main Excerpts from pages 83-94

Excerpts from Chapter 4: Developing and Arranging Details

Chapter Objectives

In this chapter you will learn to:

1. Use details to develop your topic sentence.

2. Select relevant and sufficient details.

3. Arrange details in a paragraph.

4. Use specific words.

5. Use transitional words.

Write About It!

What single overall feeling do you get from the photograph above? Write a sentence that expresses the emotion that is shown in the picture.

This sentence could be the topic sentence of a paragraph about the graduates shown in the picture. If you were to explain why the graduates are happy, you would be providing details that support the topic sentence. You will need to focus on details in a wide variety of situations.

WRITING

Supporting details are pieces of information that explain your topic sentence. If you wrote the following topic sentence, “Field hockey is the sport that taught me how to be a team player,” then the supporting details that make up the remainder of your paragraph would explain why and how field hockey taught you to be a team player. Here is another example:

If you have trouble sleeping, there are a number of things you can do to overcome the problem. First, try to develop a regular sleeping pattern. Go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time each day. Avoid sleeping late on weekends; it will throw you off schedule. Next, avoid eating or drinking caffeine in the evening. Caffeine can stay in your system for hours and keep you awake when you want to be sleeping. Also, try to read or watch television before falling asleep. Performing the same activity nightly will signal your body that bedtime is near.

In this paragraph, the details fulfill the promise the topic sentence makes—that the paragraph will tell you what to do to overcome sleeping problems. In this chapter you will learn how to write details that explain a topic sentence.

Using Relevant and Sufficient Details

The details you choose to support your topic sentence must be both relevant and sufficient. Relevant means that the details directly explain and support your topic sentence. For example, if you were to write a paragraph for your employer explaining why you deserve a raise, it would not be relevant to mention that you plan to use the money to go to Florida next spring. A vacation has nothing to do with—is not relevant to—your job performance.

Sufficient means that you must provide enough information to make your topic sentence understandable and convincing. In your paragraph explaining why you deserve a raise, it would probably not be sufficient to say that you are always on time. You would need to provide more information about your job performance: for example, that you always volunteer to work holidays, that you’ve offered good suggestions for displaying new products, and that several customers have written letters praising your work.

Selecting Relevant Details

Relevant details directly support your topic sentence. They help clarify and strengthen your ideas, whereas irrelevant details make your ideas unclear and confusing. Here is the first draft of a paragraph written by a student named Carlos to explain why he decided to attend college. Can you locate the detail that is not relevant?

(1) I decided to attend college to further my education and achieve my goals in life. (2) I am attempting to build a future for myself. (3) When I get married and have kids, I want to be able to offer them the same opportunities my parents gave me. (4) I want to have a comfortable style of living and a good job. (5) As for my wife, I don’t want her to work because I believe a married woman should not work. (6) I believe college is the way to begin a successful life.

Sentence 5 does not belong in the paragraph. The fact that Carlos does not want his wife to work is not a reason for attending college.

Use the following simple test to be sure each detail you include belongs in your paragraph:

1. Read your topic sentence in combination with each of the other sentences in your paragraph. For example,

read topic sentence + last sentence.

read topic sentence + second-to-last sentence.

read topic sentence + third-to-last sentence.

2. For each pair of sentences, ask yourself, “Do these two ideas fit together?” If your answer is “No,” then you have found a detail that is not relevant to your topic. Delete it from your paragraph.

Another student wrote the following paragraph on the subject of the legal drinking age. As you read it, cross out the details that are not relevant.

(1) The legal drinking age should be raised to 25. (2) Anyone who drinks should be old enough to determine whether or not it is safe to drive after drinking. (3) Bartenders and others who serve drinks should also have to be 25. (4) In general, teenagers and young adults are not responsible enough to limit how much they drink. (5) The party atmosphere enjoyed by so many young people encourages crazy acts, so we should limit who can drink. (6) Younger people think drinking is a game, but it is a dangerous game that affects the lives of others.

Which sentence did you delete? Why did you delete it? The third sentence does not belong in the paragraph because the age of those who bartend or serve drinks is not relevant to the topic. Sentence 5, about partying, should also be eliminated or explained because the connection between partying and drinking is not clear.

Including Sufficient Detail

Including sufficient detail means that your paragraph contains an adequate amount of specific information for your readers to understand your main idea. Your supporting details must thoroughly and clearly explain why you believe your topic sentence is true. Be sure that your details are specific; do not provide summaries or unsupported statements of opinion.

Let’s look at a paragraph a student wrote on the topic of billboard advertising.

There is a national movement to oppose billboard advertising. Many people don’t like billboards and are taking action to change what products are advertised on them and which companies use them. Community activists are destroying billboard advertisements at an increasing rate. As a result of their actions, numerous changes have been made.

This paragraph is filled with general statements. It does not explain who dislikes billboards or why they dislike them. It does not say what products are advertised or name the companies that make them. No detail is given about how the billboards are destroyed, and the resulting changes are not described. There is not sufficient support for the topic sentence. Here is the revised version:

Among residents of inner-city neighborhoods, a national movement is growing to oppose billboard advertising. Residents oppose billboards that glamorize alcohol and target people of color as its consumers. Community activists have organized and are taking action. They carry paint, rollers, shovels, and brooms to an offending billboard. Within a few minutes the billboard is painted over, covering the damaging advertisement. Results have been dramatic. Many liquor companies have reduced their inner-city billboard advertising. In place of these ads, some billboard companies have placed public-service announcements and ads to improve community health.

If you have trouble thinking of enough details to include in a paragraph, try brainstorming or one of the other prewriting techniques described in Chapter 1, “The Writing Process: An Overview.” Write your topic sentence at the top of a sheet of paper. Then list everything that comes to mind about that topic. Include examples, events, incidents, facts, and reasons. You will be surprised at how many useful details you think of.

When you finish, read over your list and cross out details that are not relevant. (If you still don’t have enough, your topic may be too specific. See p. 63.) The next section will help you decide in what order you will write about the details on your list.

Need to Know

Important Terms

Relevant details: Details that directly explain the topic sentence.

Sufficient details: Details that provide adequate support of the topic sentence.

Time sequence: Arranging ideas in the order in which they happen.

Spatial arrangement: Arranging ideas according to their position in space.

Least/Most Arrangement: Presenting ideas from least to most or most to least according to some quality or characteristic.

Specific words: Words that provide a great deal of information.

Transitional words and phrases: Words that lead the reader from one detail to another.

Types of Supporting Details

There are many types of details that you can use to explain or support a topic sentence. The most common types of supporting details are (1) examples, (2) facts or statistics, (3) reasons, (4) descriptions, and (5) steps or procedures.

Examples

One way a writer may support an idea is by using examples. Examples are specific instances or situations that illustrate an idea. Examples make ideas and concepts real and understandable. You might explain aggressive behavior by giving an example of one child pulling another child’s hair.

Facts and Statistics

Another way a writer supports an idea is by including facts and/or statistics. A fact is a piece of information that can be verified as correct. A statistic is a fact that involves numbers. The facts and statistics may provide evidence that the main idea is correct. Or the facts may further explain the main idea. For example, to prove that the divorce rate is high, the author may give statistics about the rate of divorce per 100,000 marriages and the percentage of the population that is divorced.

Be sure to give the source of any fact or statistic you take from any print or Internet source (see p. 396 for more information).

Reasons

A writer may support an idea by giving reasons why a main idea is correct. Reasons are explanations of why something happened. You might explain why nuclear power is dangerous or give reasons why a new speed limit law should be passed by Congress.

Descriptions

When the topic of a paragraph is a person, object, or place the writer may develop the paragraph by describing it. Descriptions are details that help you create a mental picture for your reader of the person, object, or place and they appeal to one of the five senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. For example, you might describe a motorcycle by describing the sounds the engine makes and by describing its shape, parts, and color.

Steps or Procedures

When you write a paragraph explaining how to do something or how something works, you often list steps or procedures. Steps are events that you complete in a specific order. For example, if you write a paragraph about how to prepare an outline for a speech, the details would list or explain the steps to take in preparing an outline.

Need to Know

Important Terms

Relevant details: Details that directly explain the topic sentence.

Sufficient details: Details that provide adequate support of the topic sentence.

Time sequence: Arranging ideas in the order in which they happen.

Spatial arrangement: Arranging ideas according to their position in space.

Least/Most Arrangement: Presenting ideas from least to most or most to least according to some quality or characteristic.

Specific words: Words that provide a great deal of information.

Transitional words and phrases: Words that lead the reader from one detail to another.

Types of Supporting Details

There are many types of details that you can use to explain or support a topic sentence. The most common types of supporting details are (1) examples, (2) facts or statistics, (3) reasons, (4) descriptions, and (5) steps or procedures.

Examples

One way a writer may support an idea is by using examples. Examples are specific instances or situations that illustrate an idea. Examples make ideas and concepts real and understandable. You might explain aggressive behavior by giving an example of one child pulling another child’s hair.

Facts and Statistics

Another way a writer supports an idea is by including facts and/or statistics. A fact is a piece of information that can be verified as correct. A statistic is a fact that involves numbers. The facts and statistics may provide evidence that the main idea is correct. Or the facts may further explain the main idea. For example, to prove that the divorce rate is high, the author may give statistics about the rate of divorce per 100,000 marriages and the percentage of the population that is divorced.

Be sure to give the source of any fact or statistic you take from any print or Internet source (see p. 396 for more information).

Reasons

A writer may support an idea by giving reasons why a main idea is correct. Reasons are explanations of why something happened. You might explain why nuclear power is dangerous or give reasons why a new speed limit law should be passed by Congress.

Descriptions

When the topic of a paragraph is a person, object, or place the writer may develop the paragraph by describing it. Descriptions are details that help you create a mental picture for your reader of the person, object, or place and they appeal to one of the five senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. For example, you might describe a motorcycle by describing the sounds the engine makes and by describing its shape, parts, and color.

Steps or Procedures

When you write a paragraph explaining how to do something or how something works, you often list steps or procedures. Steps are events that you complete in a specific order. For example, if you write a paragraph about how to prepare an outline for a speech, the details would list or explain the steps to take in preparing an outline.

Methods of Arranging Details

Nan had an assignment to write a paragraph about travel. She drafted the paragraph and then revised it. As you read each version, pay particular attention to the order in which she arranged the details.

First Draft

This summer I had the opportunity to travel extensively. Over Labor Day weekend I backpacked with a group of friends in the Allegheny Mountains. When spring semester was over, I visited my seven cousins in Florida. My friends and I went to New York City over the Fourth of July to see fireworks and explore the city. During June I worked as a wildlife-preservation volunteer in a Colorado state park. On July 15 I celebrated my twenty-fifth birthday by visiting my parents in Syracuse.

Revision

This summer I had the opportunity to travel extensively in the United States. When the spring semester ended, I went to my cousins’ home in Florida to relax. When I returned, I worked during the month of June as a wildlife-preservation volunteer in a Colorado state park. Then my friends and I went to New York City to see fireworks and look around the city over the Fourth of July weekend. On July 15th, I celebrated my twenty-fifth birthday by visiting my parents in Syracuse. Finally, over Labor Day weekend, my friends and I backpacked in the Allegheny Mountains.

Did you find Nan’s revision easier to read? In the first draft, Nan recorded details as she thought of them. There is no logical arrangement to them. In the second version, she arranged the details in the order in which they happened. Nan chose this arrangement because it fit her details logically. The three common methods for arranging details are as follows:

1. Time sequence

2. Spatial arrangement

3. Least/most arrangement

We will discuss each of these methods. Then, in Part III of this book, “Methods of Development,” you will learn additional methods of arranging ideas.

Time Sequence

Time sequence means the order in which something happens. For example, if you were to write about a particularly bad day, you could describe the day in the order in which everything went wrong. You might begin with waking up in the morning and end with going to bed that night. If you were describing a busy or an exciting weekend, you might begin with what you did on Friday night and end with the last activity on Sunday. (You will learn more about this method of arrangement in Chapter 6, “Narration.”)

Spatial Arrangement

Suppose you are asked to describe the room in which you are sitting. You want your reader, who has never been in the room, to visualize it. You need to describe, in an orderly way, where items are positioned. You could describe the room from left to right, from ceiling to floor, or from door to window. In other situations, your choices might include front to back, inside to outside, near to far, east to west, and so on. This method of presentation is called spatial arrangement. How are the details arranged in the following paragraph?

Keith’s antique car was gloriously decorated for the Fourth of July parade. Red, white, and blue streamers hung in front from the headlights and bumper. The hood was covered with small American flags. The windshield had gold stars pasted on it, arranged to form an outline of our state. On the sides, the doors displayed red plastic-tape stripes. The convertible top was down, and Mary sat on the trunk dressed up like the Statue of Liberty. In the rear, a neon sign blinked “God Bless America.” His car was not only a show-stopper but the highlight of the parade.

The topic you are writing about will often determine the arrangement you choose. In writing about a town, you might choose to begin with the center and then move to each surrounding area. In describing a building, you might go from bottom to top.

The Least/Most Arrangement

Another method of arranging details is to present them in order from least to most or most to least, according to some quality or characteristic. For example, you might arrange details from least to most expensive, least to most serious, or least to most important.

The writer of the following paragraph uses a least-to-most arrangement:

The entry level job in many industries today is administrative assistant. Just because it’s a lower level job, don’t think it’s an easy job. A good administrative assistant must have good computer skills. If you aren’t proficient on a computer, you won’t be able to handle your supervisor’s correspondence and other paper work. Even more important, an administrative assistant must be well organized. Every little problem—from answering the phone to setting up meetings to making travel arrangements—lands on the administrative assistant’s desk. If you can’t juggle lots of loose ends, this is not the job for you. Most important of all, though, an administrative assistant needs a sense of humor. On the busiest days, when the office is in total chaos, the only way to keep your sanity—and your temper—is to take a deep breath, smile, and say “When all this is over, I’m going to have a well-earned nervous breakdown!”

Notice that this writer wrote about a basic requirement for the job—computer skills—and then worked up to the most important requirement.

You can also arrange details from most to least. This structure allows you to present your strongest point first. Many writers use this method to construct a case or an argument

Using Specific Words

When you are writing a paragraph, use specific words to give your reader as much information as possible. You can think of words the way an artist thinks of colors on a palette. Vague words are brown and muddy; specific words are brightly colored and lively. Try to paint pictures for your reader with specific, vivid words. Here are a few examples of vague words along with more specific words or phrases for the same idea:

vague fun

specific thrilling, relaxing, enjoyable, pleasurable

vague dark

specific hidden in gray-green shadows

vague experienced

specific five years in the job

vague tree

specific red maple

The following suggestions will help you develop your details.

1. Use specific verbs. Choose verbs (action words) that help your reader picture the action.

vague The woman left the restaurant.

specific The woman stormed out of the restaurant.

2. Give exact names. Include the names of people, places, objects, and brands.

vague A man was eating outside.

specific Anthony Hargeaves lounged on the deck of his yacht Penelope, spearing Heinz dill pickles out of a jar.

3. Use adjectives before nouns to convey details.

vague Mary had a dog on a leash.

specific A short, bushy-tailed dog strained at the end of the leash in Mary’s hand.

4. Use words that appeal to the senses. Choose words that suggest touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight.

vague The florist shop was lovely.

specific Brilliant red, pink, and yellow roses filled the florist shop with their heady fragrance.

To summarize, use words that help your readers create mental pictures.

vague Al was handsome.

specific Al had a slim frame, curly brown hair, deep brown almond-shaped eyes, and perfectly straight, glittering white teeth.

Using Transitional Words

Transitional words allow readers to move easily from one detail to another. They show how details relate to one another. You might think of them as words that guide and signal. They guide the reader through the paragraph and signal what is to follow. As you read the following paragraph, notice the transitional words and phrases (highlighted in green) that this student used.

I have so many things to do when I get home today. First, I have to take my dog, Othello, for a walk. Next, I should do my homework for history and study the chapter on franchises for business. After that I should do some laundry, since my sock drawer is empty. Then my brother is coming over to fix the tailpipe on my car. Afterward, we will probably order a pizza for a speedy dinner.

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