Chapter Objectives
In this chapter you will learn to:
1. Use details to develop your topic sentence.
2. Select relevant and sufficient details.
3. Arrange details in a paragraph.
4. Use specific words.
5. Use transitional words.
Write About It!
What single overall feeling do you get from the photograph above? Write a sentence that expresses the emotion that is shown in the picture.
This sentence could be the topic sentence of a paragraph about the graduates shown in the picture. If you were to explain why the graduates are happy, you would be providing details that support the topic sentence. You will need to focus on details in a wide variety of situations.
WRITING
Supporting details are pieces of information that explain your topic sentence. If you wrote the following topic sentence, “Field hockey is the sport that taught me how to be a team player,” then the supporting details that make up the remainder of your paragraph would explain why and how field hockey taught you to be a team player. Here is another example:
If you have trouble sleeping, there are a number of things you can do to overcome the problem. First, try to develop a regular sleeping pattern. Go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time each day. Avoid sleeping late on weekends; it will throw you off schedule. Next, avoid eating or drinking caffeine in the evening. Caffeine can stay in your system for hours and keep you awake when you want to be sleeping. Also, try to read or watch television before falling asleep. Performing the same activity nightly will signal your body that bedtime is near.
In this paragraph, the details fulfill the promise the topic sentence makes—that the paragraph will tell you what to do to overcome sleeping problems. In this chapter you will learn how to write details that explain a topic sentence.
Using Relevant and Sufficient Details
The details you choose to support your topic sentence must be both relevant and sufficient. Relevant means that the details directly explain and support your topic sentence. For example, if you were to write a paragraph for your employer explaining why you deserve a raise, it would not be relevant to mention that you plan to use the money to go to
Sufficient means that you must provide enough information to make your topic sentence understandable and convincing. In your paragraph explaining why you deserve a raise, it would probably not be sufficient to say that you are always on time. You would need to provide more information about your job performance: for example, that you always volunteer to work holidays, that you’ve offered good suggestions for displaying new products, and that several customers have written letters praising your work.
Selecting Relevant Details
Relevant details directly support your topic sentence. They help clarify and strengthen your ideas, whereas irrelevant details make your ideas unclear and confusing. Here is the first draft of a paragraph written by a student named Carlos to explain why he decided to attend college. Can you locate the detail that is not relevant?
(1) I decided to attend college to further my education and achieve my goals in life. (2) I am attempting to build a future for myself. (3) When I get married and have kids, I want to be able to offer them the same opportunities my parents gave me. (4) I want to have a comfortable style of living and a good job. (5) As for my wife, I don’t want her to work because I believe a married woman should not work. (6) I believe college is the way to begin a successful life.
Sentence 5 does not belong in the paragraph. The fact that Carlos does not want his wife to work is not a reason for attending college.
Use the following simple test to be sure each detail you include belongs in your paragraph:
1. Read your topic sentence in combination with each of the other sentences in your paragraph. For example,
read topic sentence + last sentence.
read topic sentence + second-to-last sentence.
read topic sentence + third-to-last sentence.
2. For each pair of sentences, ask yourself, “Do these two ideas fit together?” If your answer is “No,” then you have found a detail that is not relevant to your topic. Delete it from your paragraph.
Another student wrote the following paragraph on the subject of the legal drinking age. As you read it, cross out the details that are not relevant.
(1) The legal drinking age should be raised to 25. (2) Anyone who drinks should be old enough to determine whether or not it is safe to drive after drinking. (3) Bartenders and others who serve drinks should also have to be 25. (4) In general, teenagers and young adults are not responsible enough to limit how much they drink. (5) The party atmosphere enjoyed by so many young people encourages crazy acts, so we should limit who can drink. (6) Younger people think drinking is a game, but it is a dangerous game that affects the lives of others.
Which sentence did you delete? Why did you delete it? The third sentence does not belong in the paragraph because the age of those who bartend or serve drinks is not relevant to the topic. Sentence 5, about partying, should also be eliminated or explained because the connection between partying and drinking is not clear.
Including Sufficient Detail
Including sufficient detail means that your paragraph contains an adequate amount of specific information for your readers to understand your main idea. Your supporting details must thoroughly and clearly explain why you believe your topic sentence is true. Be sure that your details are specific; do not provide summaries or unsupported statements of opinion.
Let’s look at a paragraph a student wrote on the topic of billboard advertising.
There is a national movement to oppose billboard advertising. Many people don’t like billboards and are taking action to change what products are advertised on them and which companies use them. Community activists are destroying billboard advertisements at an increasing rate. As a result of their actions, numerous changes have been made.
This paragraph is filled with general statements. It does not explain who dislikes billboards or why they dislike them. It does not say what products are advertised or name the companies that make them. No detail is given about how the billboards are destroyed, and the resulting changes are not described. There is not sufficient support for the topic sentence. Here is the revised version:
Among residents of inner-city neighborhoods, a national movement is growing to oppose billboard advertising. Residents oppose billboards that glamorize alcohol and target people of color as its consumers. Community activists have organized and are taking action. They carry paint, rollers, shovels, and brooms to an offending billboard. Within a few minutes the billboard is painted over, covering the damaging advertisement. Results have been dramatic. Many liquor companies have reduced their inner-city billboard advertising. In place of these ads, some billboard companies have placed public-service announcements and ads to improve community health.
If you have trouble thinking of enough details to include in a paragraph, try brainstorming or one of the other prewriting techniques described in Chapter 1, “The Writing Process: An Overview.” Write your topic sentence at the top of a sheet of paper. Then list everything that comes to mind about that topic. Include examples, events, incidents, facts, and reasons. You will be surprised at how many useful details you think of.
When you finish, read over your list and cross out details that are not relevant. (If you still don’t have enough, your topic may be too specific. See p. 63.) The next section will help you decide in what order you will write about the details on your list.
Need to Know
Important Terms
Relevant details: Details that directly explain the topic sentence.
Sufficient details: Details that provide adequate support of the topic sentence.
Time sequence: Arranging ideas in the order in which they happen.
Spatial arrangement: Arranging ideas according to their position in space.
Least/Most Arrangement: Presenting ideas from least to most or most to least according to some quality or characteristic.
Specific words: Words that provide a great deal of information.
Transitional words and phrases: Words that lead the reader from one detail to another.
Types of Supporting Details
There are many types of details that you can use to explain or support a topic sentence. The most common types of supporting details are (1) examples, (2) facts or statistics, (3) reasons, (4) descriptions, and (5) steps or procedures.
Examples
One way a writer may support an idea is by using examples. Examples are specific instances or situations that illustrate an idea. Examples make ideas and concepts real and understandable. You might explain aggressive behavior by giving an example of one child pulling another child’s hair.
Facts and Statistics
Another way a writer supports an idea is by including facts and/or statistics. A fact is a piece of information that can be verified as correct. A statistic is a fact that involves numbers. The facts and statistics may provide evidence that the main idea is correct. Or the facts may further explain the main idea. For example, to prove that the divorce rate is high, the author may give statistics about the rate of divorce per 100,000 marriages and the percentage of the population that is divorced.
Be sure to give the source of any fact or statistic you take from any print or Internet source (see p. 396 for more information).
Reasons
A writer may support an idea by giving reasons why a main idea is correct. Reasons are explanations of why something happened. You might explain why nuclear power is dangerous or give reasons why a new speed limit law should be passed by Congress.
Descriptions
When the topic of a paragraph is a person, object, or place the writer may develop the paragraph by describing it. Descriptions are details that help you create a mental picture for your reader of the person, object, or place and they appeal to one of the five senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. For example, you might describe a motorcycle by describing the sounds the engine makes and by describing its shape, parts, and color.
Steps or Procedures
When you write a paragraph explaining how to do something or how something works, you often list steps or procedures. Steps are events that you complete in a specific order. For example, if you write a paragraph about how to prepare an outline for a speech, the details would list or explain the steps to take in preparing an outline.
Need to Know
Important Terms
Relevant details: Details that directly explain the topic sentence.
Sufficient details: Details that provide adequate support of the topic sentence.
Time sequence: Arranging ideas in the order in which they happen.
Spatial arrangement: Arranging ideas according to their position in space.
Least/Most Arrangement: Presenting ideas from least to most or most to least according to some quality or characteristic.
Specific words: Words that provide a great deal of information.
Transitional words and phrases: Words that lead the reader from one detail to another.
Types of Supporting Details
There are many types of details that you can use to explain or support a topic sentence. The most common types of supporting details are (1) examples, (2) facts or statistics, (3) reasons, (4) descriptions, and (5) steps or procedures.
Examples
One way a writer may support an idea is by using examples. Examples are specific instances or situations that illustrate an idea. Examples make ideas and concepts real and understandable. You might explain aggressive behavior by giving an example of one child pulling another child’s hair.
Facts and Statistics
Another way a writer supports an idea is by including facts and/or statistics. A fact is a piece of information that can be verified as correct. A statistic is a fact that involves numbers. The facts and statistics may provide evidence that the main idea is correct. Or the facts may further explain the main idea. For example, to prove that the divorce rate is high, the author may give statistics about the rate of divorce per 100,000 marriages and the percentage of the population that is divorced.
Be sure to give the source of any fact or statistic you take from any print or Internet source (see p. 396 for more information).
Reasons
A writer may support an idea by giving reasons why a main idea is correct. Reasons are explanations of why something happened. You might explain why nuclear power is dangerous or give reasons why a new speed limit law should be passed by Congress.
Descriptions
When the topic of a paragraph is a person, object, or place the writer may develop the paragraph by describing it. Descriptions are details that help you create a mental picture for your reader of the person, object, or place and they appeal to one of the five senses—touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. For example, you might describe a motorcycle by describing the sounds the engine makes and by describing its shape, parts, and color.
Steps or Procedures
When you write a paragraph explaining how to do something or how something works, you often list steps or procedures. Steps are events that you complete in a specific order. For example, if you write a paragraph about how to prepare an outline for a speech, the details would list or explain the steps to take in preparing an outline.
Methods of Arranging Details
First Draft
This summer I had the opportunity to travel extensively. Over Labor Day weekend I backpacked with a group of friends in the
Revision
This summer I had the opportunity to travel extensively in the
Did you find
1. Time sequence
2. Spatial arrangement
3. Least/most arrangement
We will discuss each of these methods. Then, in Part III of this book, “Methods of Development,” you will learn additional methods of arranging ideas.
Time Sequence
Time sequence means the order in which something happens. For example, if you were to write about a particularly bad day, you could describe the day in the order in which everything went wrong. You might begin with waking up in the morning and end with going to bed that night. If you were describing a busy or an exciting weekend, you might begin with what you did on Friday night and end with the last activity on Sunday. (You will learn more about this method of arrangement in Chapter 6, “Narration.”)
Spatial Arrangement
Suppose you are asked to describe the room in which you are sitting. You want your reader, who has never been in the room, to visualize it. You need to describe, in an orderly way, where items are positioned. You could describe the room from left to right, from ceiling to floor, or from door to window. In other situations, your choices might include front to back, inside to outside, near to far, east to west, and so on. This method of presentation is called spatial arrangement. How are the details arranged in the following paragraph?
Keith’s antique car was gloriously decorated for the Fourth of July parade. Red, white, and blue streamers hung in front from the headlights and bumper. The hood was covered with small American flags. The windshield had gold stars pasted on it, arranged to form an outline of our state. On the sides, the doors displayed red plastic-tape stripes. The convertible top was down, and Mary sat on the trunk dressed up like the Statue of Liberty. In the rear, a neon sign blinked “God Bless
The topic you are writing about will often determine the arrangement you choose. In writing about a town, you might choose to begin with the center and then move to each surrounding area. In describing a building, you might go from bottom to top.
The Least/Most Arrangement
Another method of arranging details is to present them in order from least to most or most to least, according to some quality or characteristic. For example, you might arrange details from least to most expensive, least to most serious, or least to most important.
The writer of the following paragraph uses a least-to-most arrangement:
The entry level job in many industries today is administrative assistant. Just because it’s a lower level job, don’t think it’s an easy job. A good administrative assistant must have good computer skills. If you aren’t proficient on a computer, you won’t be able to handle your supervisor’s correspondence and other paper work. Even more important, an administrative assistant must be well organized. Every little problem—from answering the phone to setting up meetings to making travel arrangements—lands on the administrative assistant’s desk. If you can’t juggle lots of loose ends, this is not the job for you. Most important of all, though, an administrative assistant needs a sense of humor. On the busiest days, when the office is in total chaos, the only way to keep your sanity—and your temper—is to take a deep breath, smile, and say “When all this is over, I’m going to have a well-earned nervous breakdown!”
Notice that this writer wrote about a basic requirement for the job—computer skills—and then worked up to the most important requirement.
You can also arrange details from most to least. This structure allows you to present your strongest point first. Many writers use this method to construct a case or an argument
Using Specific Words
When you are writing a paragraph, use specific words to give your reader as much information as possible. You can think of words the way an artist thinks of colors on a palette. Vague words are brown and muddy; specific words are brightly colored and lively. Try to paint pictures for your reader with specific, vivid words. Here are a few examples of vague words along with more specific words or phrases for the same idea:
vague fun
specific thrilling, relaxing, enjoyable, pleasurable
vague dark
specific hidden in gray-green shadows
vague experienced
specific five years in the job
vague tree
specific red maple
The following suggestions will help you develop your details.
1. Use specific verbs. Choose verbs (action words) that help your reader picture the action.
vague The woman left the restaurant.
specific The woman stormed out of the restaurant.
2. Give exact names. Include the names of people, places, objects, and brands.
vague A man was eating outside.
specific Anthony Hargeaves lounged on the deck of his yacht Penelope, spearing Heinz dill pickles out of a jar.
3. Use adjectives before nouns to convey details.
vague Mary had a dog on a leash.
specific A short, bushy-tailed dog strained at the end of the leash in Mary’s hand.
4. Use words that appeal to the senses. Choose words that suggest touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight.
vague The florist shop was lovely.
specific Brilliant red, pink, and yellow roses filled the florist shop with their heady fragrance.
To summarize, use words that help your readers create mental pictures.
vague Al was handsome.
specific Al had a slim frame, curly brown hair, deep brown almond-shaped eyes, and perfectly straight, glittering white teeth.
Using Transitional Words
Transitional words allow readers to move easily from one detail to another. They show how details relate to one another. You might think of them as words that guide and signal. They guide the reader through the paragraph and signal what is to follow. As you read the following paragraph, notice the transitional words and phrases (highlighted in green) that this student used.
I have so many things to do when I get home today. First, I have to take my dog, Othello, for a walk. Next, I should do my homework for history and study the chapter on franchises for business. After that I should do some laundry, since my sock drawer is empty. Then my brother is coming over to fix the tailpipe on my car. Afterward, we will probably order a pizza for a speedy dinner.
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